Things I Learned While Being Engaged

It's now a whole month after the wedding and I really can't believe how quickly everything went by, and how fast our first month of marriage has gone. You spend so much time planning the wedding. And within 24 hours (more like 14), it's all over and done with and you're married! Now that I'm no longer engaged and have had some time to think about the whole process, there are some things I wish I would have known before it all. Luckily, I now have two girls in my office getting ready for their own weddings and who have been coming to me for advice (kind of scary!) so they get to know about the things I wish I would have!

1. Your budget will go out the window (at some point, in some way).
   When we first sat down with my mom to talk budget we settled on a modest number we thought would be doable. However, there are SO MANY factors that go into your planning and budget that you don't even think of. Yes, you may have a price point in mind for your dress, but the alterations you need to get it perfectly tailored to you and looking great add more. That great venue that has all of the decorations on-hand? Yeah, those might not be actually included in your rental. You have to learn to roll with the punches. There are definitely ways we could have trimmed down, and did trim down our overall budget (a "smaller" guest list, closer honeymoon, choosing a more reasonable bakery), but the end dollar signs are a little more than we anticipated. I know this does not apply to everyone (and kudos to you if you stayed perfectly on, or even under, budget).
2. Everyone has their own ideas for your big day - just listen.
   I'm 3,000% sure that whenever anyone gets engaged they get a million suggestions from a million people about everything from the wedding date to your centerpieces. When we first got engaged I had no clue what I wanted and was happy to listen to everyone's input. After a few months and as we started planning I would get so annoyed when someone would trump my ideas or give crazy suggestions. As we got further into the process I learned to just smile and nod and take most things with a grain of salt. I'm pretty sure no one offering up their opinion on your big day has the intention to hurt you or make you mad, really everyone is genuinely excited for you, so just listening and keeping yourself from rolling your eyes is the key to keeping sane.
3. You can't make everyone happy - and you have to accept that.
   You will run into people who are not happy with your choices. This can be in everything from your chosen wedding date, to how much or little they are involved in everything. As much as you want the wedding and reception to just be about you and your husband to be, planning a wedding really does take an army whether you want it to or not. People will feel left out. People will feel overwhelmed. People will hate your ideas. BREATHE. Making someone happy will sometimes mean making someone else upset - even if that someone is you. COMPROMISE. In the last week or two before the wedding I had the epiphany that - hey this day is about Joe and I. As much as I wanted to make every single family member, wedding party attendant, vendor, etc... 150% happy, I couldn't. It's not possible. But, what did make me happy, and hopefully everyone else, was focusing on what it was about - and that's Joe and I getting married and starting our life together! If someone isn't happy about that, well then there's no helping them. 
4. Be oblivious on the day of the wedding - seriously.
   This might sound weird, but in absolutely, positively, no way, shape, or form let anyone ask you anything. We were lucky to have an amazing wedding day-of coordinator that, not only took all responsibility off of me, but also my family and the wedding party. She was the contact person on the wedding day for all of the vendors, and absolutely anyone that had questions, concerns, or anything else were told to go to her. It was nice after all of the stresses of wedding planning to be blissfully oblivious. So, I didn't know that the florist was rude to the church coordinator, that the last two tables at the reception didn't get macaroni and cheese or mashed potatoes because the caterer ran out, or any other miniscule issue that came up. I got ready with my best friends, walked down the aisle to my future husband, made memories with my family, and had an amazing reception with the people closest to us, no worries or unnecessary stress - and that's how it should be!
5. The day goes so much faster than you could ever imagine - try to stop every once and awhile to take it all in.I had heard from so many people that your wedding day goes by so fast, and even that didn't prepare for just how quickly the biggest day of your life unfolds! It all kind of feels like a blur to me. One minute my bridesmaids and I were getting our hair and make-up done, and the next we were on the way to the church. We thought we'd have so much time between arriving at the church to when the ceremony got started, but between getting everyone in their dresses, making final adjustments, and walking over it felt like 5 minutes. The ceremony flies by, mostly because you are so focused on A. not tripping in your dress, B. trying not to cry because everyone else is, C. wishing that the moment you are finally Mr. and Mrs.would get there so you can be married! And the reception is just something else. We had SO MUCH fun! But, you have all of the special firsts and dances that you have to do, and then so much mingling! I felt like I talked for hours and there were still people I never even got to say a peep to! 
6. With that said - take time to have alone time - even if it is just a moment or two!
   I was glad that there were a few minutes of alone time, both just myself and with Joe as well. I had a moment alone when the ceremony was starting where I was in a back corner (so no one would catch a glimpse before I went down the aisle) where I got to breathe and really think about what was about to happen. During the ceremony there was a moment where Joe and I had to go off alone, it was precisely 45 seconds, but that kind of let us breathe in the middle and say hi to each other! After the ceremony the wedding party went up into the church balcony. As everyone was going back downstairs to start pictures Joe and I hung back so we could hug and kiss and have a quiet moment together. Even though our wedding day went so fast, I remember those special times where we could just be alone for a second to breathe, regroup and get moving again.
   

I'm sure as time goes on I will think of more things, but those six things stick out the most. I'm obviously no expert, but being one of the first to get married out of my circle will hopefully let me help some of my engaged and someday engaged friends.

18 Days

18 Days. Just 18 days until the wedding. We're now in the teens in the countdown and it just doesn't seem possible! It doesn't seem like it was too long ago that we were anticipating hitting the one year mark, and then getting to 365 days seemed like the big day was right there. Now we're 18 days away - less than 3 weeks! There's been equal parts happiness and stress along the way, but I think we're finally at the point where it's simply pulling everything together and setting the plans for the actual wedding day!

As our wedding day gets closer, I think every night Joe and I climb into bed we just lay there and talk about how we can't wait to be married. We'll say "this time in X amount of days we'll be married", and then laugh at how pathetic and sappy we sound. Joe keeps jokingly asking me if I'm going to tell him how excited I am every night until we're married, and then tell him how excited I am to BE married.

It really is a weird mix of emotions right now. Sometimes I get really nervous and scared. Other times I catch myself smiling and feeling giddy for no reason. Overall I'm just excited. I'm excited that Joe and I will finally be married. I'm excited to see what the future has in store for both of us. I'm excited to buy a house and start a family. I'm excited that all of the craziness that is being engaged will finally culminate with our wedding. I'm excited that I can finally look at a calendar and see the present day and the wedding day on the same page.

We freaked out when the countdown got under 100. We got excited when we hit the 2 month mark. And now, a few days over 2 weeks, it's just all really surreal. Everything's coming together, the finishing touches are being added, and the finish line is in sight! Now we're looking ahead to March 1st instead of just planning for it. It can't come soon enough!

The Final Countdown

When I started this blog I wanted to post so much about our wedding journey. But between school, work, anxieties, laziness, moving, actual wedding planning, and just plain life...that hasn't been the case. And now there are suddenly just 45 days until our wedding day and I cannot believe it! We have a countdown going on our chalkboard in the living room and I swear it makes the days go even faster! There's still so much to do. I don't think I realized how all-consuming planning a wedding would be. Joe and I were joking the other night about how we don't know what we're going to do post-wedding because almost every day/night is filled with some sort of wedding related task.

Luckily we've reached the point where the big things are pretty much done, and now it's making the final touches and doing the little things I want to add. My dress has been fitted, all the bridesmaids have their dresses, the boys have ordered their tuxes, we both have our wedding rings, the little ones know what they're wearing, centerpieces have been picked, flowers have been chosen, we're almost done with our pre-marriage counseling, invitations have been mailed - and tons more. It's crazy to look at how much is done. It doesn't seem like a lot until you write it all out.

It's really hard to believe that when we got engaged there were over 500 days until the wedding, and now we're under 50! It's a little surreal, exciting and terrifying all mixed into one.

As we get closer to the big day I'm so thankful for all of the love and support we've gotten from our family and friends throughout our whole engagement. I'm glad I have friends that let me talk about the wedding and don't get annoyed with me and that have offered me so much advice and support along the way. I really can't wait to celebrate with everyone and become a married lady so soon!

**when I wrote this it was 45 - now it is 43!!!

An Update

Oh hey, I have a wedding blog! A lot has been happening lately and it's all kind of starting to feel real. We're winding down on making the big decisions, and are starting to think about the little details that will pull everything together. I haven't had any other major freak outs lately and I'd prefer to keep it that way! Occasionally I get a little anxious or panicked, but I've been able to keep myself chilled out for the most part. A couple of the big things that have happened in the last month + are:

• We registered for our wedding gifts. We ended up making registries at three different places. I've been really worried that people would think I was selfish or greedy or something for having three, but 1. This is my one and only wedding. 2. Each place has very specific and different items. (aka we're not registered for a million of the same thing at different places just because we want something) and 3. My grandma assured me that it's ok and I really trust my grandma...so there. We're registered at Williams Sonoma (kitchen stuff), Macy's (nice plates, some cooking, bedding) and Bed Bath & Beyond (everyday use kind of stuff + some fun things). 
• My first bridal shower is coming up. My godparents go to California for the winter every year, so unfortunately they won't be here for the wedding. So, my godmother asked if she could throw me a bridal shower before the holidays. I'm having two showers altogether. This one which will be my family, family friends, and my friends and a second one thrown by Joe's family that will be his family and family friends. In fact, my shower invitations just went out this week so people should be getting them soon if they don't have them already! I'm really excited to celebrate with some of my favorite people and start the wedding festivities, even if it will still be 3 1/2 months out. 
•  My wedding dress if finally in! Way back in June I found the perfect wedding dress and got all measured for it and the order was placed. This past Thursday I got a phone call from the bridal store that it has finally arrived! It really took everything in me to not leave work right that very minute and go try it on, but I refrained. My grandma is out of town until next Sunday, so even though I want to see it right now, I'm going to wait until she gets home. I'm hoping that still I love it as much as I did when I said yes to my dress!
• We have a DJ. The DJ hunt was actually pretty easy. Dupont Downs has a list of vendors that they work with often that they have good relationships with, and they give this list to their couples to help narrow down the vendor hunt. One of the DJ companies on there is Quattro Systems. I looked them up and emailed back and forth with one of their reps before signing out contract. They have a flat fee, which is great (aka no hidden charges or extra costs for things) and they have a great reputation. They even make choosing your songs easy. Up until a week or two before your wedding you can work in a digital worksheet that breaks down all of the different songs for different "events" throughout the night, as well as a section to list songs you really want played, and songs you could live without hearing. I'm looking forward to working with them more.

I'll elaborate on some of these things more later, but those are some of the major things. We still need to wrap up and solidify everything with catering, order flowers, take care of the cake, and then start nailing down some of the other details such as groomsmen, ring bearer and flower girl attire - but I have a good idea of what they'll all be wearing. We also have a lot of smaller details to tie everything together and add some special touches that we'd like to do, so those will be coming along as well. 

I just can't believe how fast March 1st is coming. We are just a little more than 4 months away! There is still so much to get done, but I know in the end everything will come together.

Sneak Peek: The Bridesmaids' Dress

Back in June when my mom, grandma, a couple bridesmaids and myself went to look for my wedding dress, we ended up stumbling upon a perfect bridesmaids dress! I had really been struggling finding dresses that I liked that fit the vision of what my wedding party would look like. While I was trying on all of the different options for myself, this dress caught all of our eyes and I just knew it would be perfect! Amy, Kristin and even (a very pregnant) Liz tried it on and I think we were all surprised how the fit and color looked amazing on each of them and complimented their best features. 

It is a strapless, floor length, chiffon, Amsale gown with a fitted top and empire waist. There are flowers at the bust and for a couple of the girls we will be adding cap sleeve and straps to differentiate them a little and make everyone comfortable. The sample dress that One Fine Day had in the store was blush, one of our wedding colors, so we got to see exactly how the dress would look without having to play guessing games with the color. I absolutely love it and it is the dress that I had been picturing but could never find. We really lucked out!

Even though two of my lovely ladies were not able to go dress shopping on that day I couldn't pass up giving the OK for the bridesmaid dress. It was everything I had hoped (plus they threw in a little discount since I was also getting my wedding dress!), and I really didn't want to go through a painful process of looking at dress after dress. Luckily I think all five of my bridesmaids like it and I know all of them will look beautiful in the dress!

Next we need to decide on shoes and the rest of their "look". But, I'm not nitpicky and I want them to each show off their own styles. As far as the whole bridal party goes, next up will be picking tuxes for the groomsmen and what the ring bearers and flower girl will be wearing. 

Finding a Caterer

This afternoon we have our first catering tasting with Club Soda! I’m really excited about this because, let’s be honest, one of the most important parts of the reception and what most people tend to remember is the food! Club Soda is one of the preferred caterers of our reception site, Dupont Downs, basically meaning that they have worked together enough and had enough success that Dupont Downs is confident referring Club Soda to clients and likes to work with them.

 At first I was a little skeptical about looking at Club Soda. It definitely has nothing to do with the quality of the food – it’s amazing! We are working with more frugal budget, and I wasn’t sure how somewhere like Club Soda would fit in. They are known for their amazing food (and drinks) and I’ve always associated them with more fine-dining (and out of my price range) fare. I’ve only eaten at Club Soda a couple of times, but each time I’ve been blown away! From their Gouda dip, to their turkey sandwich, to their AMAZING desserts, there’s nothing that isn’t delicious. After poking around on their website I was actually really surprised to see how closely their catering options line up price-wise with a lot of other caterers around town, and in some cases is actually a little cheaper. I didn’t look at the pricing and immediately panic! (Little victories here with wedding planning.) They have the option of doing dinner buffet-style, plated, heavy Hors D’ oeuvres, and so on….

A few weeks ago my grandma took me there for lunch when she came to visit me at work and thankfully is a million times more assertive than I am. While we were touring around Dupont Downs and booking them for my and Joe’s reception, she also booked the venue for my family’s company Christmas party (go figure) and is looking at using Club Soda for catering as well. So, she asked to talk to the head of catering during our lunch and luckily he was around to chat us up. I’ve been stuck on the idea of having food stations at the reception of the “usual” reception kind of dinner. Actually, stuck is putting it mildly. I’m obsessed with it and it has been my mission to get everyone involved in planning this wedding on board with my food station dreams.  Luckily it seems that Club Soda is more than open to this idea and have done it in the past with other weddings. Score! We haven’t really decided what kind of food stations we want. We’ve thrown out ideas like a burger/slider bar, taco bar, mashed potato bar, Italian bar…but I just want everything so nothing has been decided. Hopefully after the tasting I’ll have a better idea of what we’re thinking and maybe even make a decision! 

It’s really simultaneously exciting and terrifying to be in this stage of planning. We’re about 6 1/2 months (SIX AND A HALF MONTHS) from the big day, so it’s GO time on just about everything! As the days widdle away I’m constantly thinking about everything we have left to do. Place our save the date and invitation order, decide on flowers, make sure all of the bridesmaids have their fitting for the dress, decide on suits/tuxes, book the DJ, etc… It’s a long list, but I know it will get done. Having a March wedding is nice because it’s the wedding “off season” so a lot of the big things like florists and caterers aren’t booking fast and we can be a little more leisurely with getting things off the to-do list. 

So, hopefully by the end of the day we can cross one more thing off of our list with catering!

On Having a "Smaller" Wedding

When we first started the wedding planning process about a year ago we really had no idea what size of wedding we would be looking at. Both Joe and I come from relatively large families. His with lots of cousins and mine with lots of aunts and uncles. At first I figured we'd just invite everyone (rookie mistake), but once we wrote out a preliminary list of friends and family we each thought would be invited the list was close to 300 - YIKES! So, needless to say we talked a lot and scaled back some and came to a number closer to 230.

Then I really started to think and get overwhelmed. 230 people is a lot of people, and a big portion of them may be family you're not as close to, or family-friends that were around when you were in diapers ages ago, and so on. Did I really want to be walking around my wedding reception just meeting people for the first time, or catching up on years that had gone by? It didn't sound very enjoyable to me or Joe, so we started talking about reducing our list again.

When we really started legitimately looking at planning the wedding, my mom and I had the budget conversation. After that we realized our guest list would have to be shrank down anyway to fit within our budget. The number we came out with was 150 with a little wiggle room (175 max). This was almost like a little weight had been lifted and then a bigger one placed back on. I was relieved that the wedding would be smaller than we originally thought, but then I started worrying about who would be left out, and if we would be hurting anyone's feelings. (If you haven't picked up on it, I worry about everything.) 

As the wedding gets closer more people are curious about the exact plans. When they ask how many guests and I tell them around 150, more often than not they say something to the affect of "ohhhhhh that's kind of small". And I smile and nod and explain how we want our guests to have a great time, but stay in budget and so on and so forth. Mostly I just get flustered. I don't want anyone to think they would purposefully be left out of my and Joe's big day. We've really only had one or two instances of someone getting seriously down on us about not including every single person in the universe, but I'd like to think they understand where we are coming from.

I know that 150 is still a lot of people. I think that any collection of people over 30 is huge, so it's incredible to me that we even know 150 people. I also know that in the end, the most important thing is celebrating our wedding day with the people that mean the most to us. The friends and family that have really shaped us, watched us grow, been with us through thick and thin, and been in our lives through our relationship and beyond will be there and are the ones we want to be surrounded by.

Ultimately I want our wedding to keep the focus on Joe and I. I don't mean that in a bratty, self-centered sense - I just don't want things, like the guest list, to overshadow the real reason that there is a wedding in the first place.

I Said Yes to the Dress!

Yesterday, with my mom, grandma and three of my bridesmaids; Liz, Amy and Kristin in tow, I found my wedding dress. I didn't expect to find the dress of my dreams on my very first outing, but I am very pleasantly surprised that I did!

Some of the amazing dresses I got to try on.

We started the day off at my first appointment at One Fine Day. The owner, Autumn, and her mother sat us down and got some information about the wedding and what I thought I might be looking for. She let us all loose and helped us all pull dresses. Since it was my first time looking, I said yes to almost everything anyone pulled and ended up with probably close to 15 dresses to choose from to start with. I went back into the dressing room with Autumn and my mom, slipped into a robe, and started trying on gowns. The first time I saw myself in a wedding dress was an indescribable feeling. It made everything seem so real! Walking out to show the others and stand on the pedestal in front of the mirror was something I had only dreamed about while watching marathons of Say Yes to the Dress. 

As the appointment went on I was surprised how easily I was saying "yes" or "no" to the different dresses. For someone that is an extremely indecisive person, I wasn't having that hard of a time feeling like something wasn't right for me and when to add something to my "favorites". By the time I had worked my way through all of the dresses we had collected I had a group of 5 left in my favorites. Although I loved all 5, there were two that I just KNEW it was going to be between. I tried each back on and felt amazing in both. Autumn added jewelry and a veil and I was surprised to find myself tearing up. By the end of my appointment I had one dress that I absolutely, positively loved and was ready to take. But, we had lunch and a second appointment planned, and to make a day of it I left the store empty handed.

The gang out at lunch.

We had a great lunch together at a very nice restaurant and it was so wonderful to have some of my very best friends by my side along with my mom and grandma to share in such a special day. All through lunch I kept thinking about the dress I had fallen in love with and was really debating whether I even wanted to go to my second appointment. After some convincing, we all headed down the road to appointment number two. After walking in and looking through the dresses on their floor, I just couldn't find a dress that came close to the dress from One Fine Day. When someone finally came to start the appointment I changed it to a bridesmaid appointment, hoping that we could find a dress for the girls while Amy was home. After not coming across anything we liked, we left the appointment early, called Autumn at One Fine Day, and headed back to my dress. The rest is history. I put back on the dress I had loved so much and just knew it was MY dress. I couldn't stop smiling and was getting a little emotional thinking about walking down the aisle to Joe in it.

To be honest, my dress is definitely not what I thought I would have chosen. I knew that it was important to try on something that may not completely be what you want, but I didn't know that that would end up being the dress that I, and everyone else, would fall in love with. They say you just know when you've found your dress, and I can definitely agree with that. The second I put it on I felt a different kind of calm and excitement. I wanted to jump up and down and never take the dress off! Even as I sit here I am thinking about my dress and wishing I could try it on again! The whole day was great. From having a great experience at One Fine Day, to trying on dresses, to being around three of my best friends, I don't think it could have been better. I was only missing two of my other lovely girls Meredith and Emily, but was able to update them and send them pictures of the dress! I can't wait to see the finished dress in five months (SO FAR AWAY!) and try on the dress I will wear on my wedding day!

Beginning the Dress Hunt - Part 2

Our second stop of the day on Saturday will be The Bride To Be. I've seen them at a lot of different bridal shows, so I am excited to get in the boutique and try on some beautiful gowns! 

Part of me would love to find my dress right away in our day of dress shopping, but another part of me wants to stretch the process out and make it to my appointment here! I really haven't thought about what I'll do if I find a dress that I think is "the one" at my first appointment of the day at One Fine Day. Do I wait until I try on other dresses, or do I follow my gut? I'm getting way ahead of myself, I've watched enough of Say Yes to the Dress to know that there is a real possibility that I could try on hundreds of dresses before I find the one I love. 

I'm really excited about The Bride To Be because their selection is a lot different from One Fine Day. Both have amazing gowns to choose from, but don't have any of the same so I'm sure to have a completely different experience at each! The Bride To Be has a lot of gorgeous dresses, and of course I already have a handful I'm loving already. 

1. Eden Bridals - GL017
2. Eden Bridals - BL047
3. Eden Bridals - BI033
4. Wtoo - Catalina
5. Watters - Palm Springs
6. Augusta Jones - Paz

Beginning the Dress Hunt

On Saturday I will be venturing out with my mom, grandma and three of my bridesmaids to try on wedding dresses for the VERY FIRST TIME! I am so over the moon, can't hold it in, excited I can hardly stand it. I have been dreaming about searching for the dress of my dreams every since Joseph proposed, and now that the time is almost here, I'm getting really anxious!

When my mom and I finally decided on a day that we could go dress shopping I knew exactly where I wanted to go. Fort Wayne has a number of wonderful wedding stores, but there are two that have really caught my eye, both on my own, and at the different bridal shows I've gone to. The first is One Fine Day and the second is The Bride to Be. I've been pouring over both websites, collecting an idea of the gowns I like the most at each.

The first appointment I set up, and the first of the day, is at One Fine Day. One Fine Day is on a super busy road that I pass by often and has a huge window display that makes me hold up traffic every time I drive by. I always love to see what dresses are being displayed in the window and if there is anything that I want to try on. Needless to say, between driving passed the storefront and checking the website for new arrivals, I already have a couple of dresses that I absolutely want to try on. I've always thought I would wear a big princess gown with tons of tulle and jewels and glitter, but I'm not ruling anything out. There are a few dresses I like that break this idea, and many people have told me to try on at least one style that I don't think I would like, because that often ends up what you'll love.

These are the dresses I'm dreaming of at One Fine Day. Some of the dresses I love are super princessy, while there are a couple that are a little more classic looking with some sass.

 

1. Paloma Blanca 4302
2. Modern Trousseau - Max
3. Modern Trousseau - Ginny
4. Lazaro 3265
5. Lazaro 3269
6. Kelly Faetini - Adele
7. Lazaro 3319
8. Tara Keely 2303

The Great Photographer Search (Part 2)

I've addressed our search for a wonderful photographer many times. Our wedding photos are probably one of the absolute most important parts of the wedding to me - they're really the only permanent, tangible thing to come out of the whole wedding (besides the actual marriage obviously). We had narrowed it down to two great photographers and were on the brink of finalizing that decision when I was given an offer that I couldn't say no to. A very good family friend that has worked with my family's business for years has a huge photography business out of Chicago (with studios also in Little Rock and Baton Rouge!), Ocken Photography. Chris, one of the 3 photographers that are a part of the business (Chris, his wife Jen and brother Bob), approached my mom about doing my and Joe's wedding pictures one day. After a little discussion and joking around he said that he would seriously love to do them and would give us a VERY good, reasonable, price compared to their normal rate and that he would do anything and everything I wanted. I really couldn't refuse.

I've been a little nervous. I have ideas of what I want and a style that I love, not to mention that the two photographers that we had narrowed it down to are known for doing amazing things with weddings. Some of the photography that the Ocken's does isn't necessarily what I like, but is very beautiful. But after looking around the website, their Facebook page and blog, I realized just how versatile their photography really is. They can adjust the way they shoot, edit, etc... to exactly what each couple wants - something many photographers can't or don't do. They were even voted as The Knot Best of Weddings 2013, so I'm pretty confident that we are going to have some great photographs. 

                      

It feels good to have another huge part of our wedding in place. In just 2 weeks we will be getting our engagement pictures taken, which I am beyond excited for! My mind is busy trying to decide on a location/locations, what to wear, and all of that other fun stuff. I can't wait to get a first glance at what we can expect to see with our wedding pictures, and to start working with Chris, and Ocken Photography!

All photos can be found here.

We Have a Winner!

Last night we finally booked our reception venue! I've been waiting to be able to mark this off of the "to-do" list for quite some time, so to be able to know that one of the biggest things is taken care is a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

Joseph and I had looked at a handful of reception venues a couple of months after we got engaged. The only one I really, truly, fell in love with was the Women's Club, which was unfortunately sold earlier this year and will no longer be available for wedding receptions. I also really liked Baker Street Train Station, but I wasn't opposed to other venues. So, for the last few months I've kind of been in reception venue lala land. I knew I didn't want the standard reception hall. I wanted somewhere that had character and that acted as a part of the reception itself rather than just the building that the reception is held in. After going to a couple of bridal shows I started to really really love a place called Dupont Downs. It has this very natural, airy and sophisticated feeling to it. The building used to be a lifestyle store, greenhouse and cafe, which left a really neat layout.

After swooning over Dupont Downs' bridal show displays, website and photos from wedding photographers I had seen, I decided to make an appointment to go look at the venue in person. Fast forward to yesterday after work and my mom, grandma and I were meeting with the owner, Sharon, and my love for the space was solidified. We looked around for about an hour; checking out the space, talking about ideas, looking at her warehouse of decorations and discussing layouts. By the time our little tour was over I was more than ready to book our date. Unfortunately Joe could't go with us due to work, so I was worried about making a decision about such a huge part of our wedding day without him even seeing the venue in person. I called him and told him my thoughts and he gave me the go ahead to make the decision. So come March, Dupont Downs is where we will be having our wedding reception!

I wish there were better photos available online, or that had had taken better pictures while I was there, but they are in the process of updating new photos so these will do to give an idea of what the venue looks like.

The front end of the main area where they usually set up the head table. (It was being set up for an event this weekend.)

Risen areas in the main part where they put a lot of the tables.

The food area. There are 3 stainless steel surfaces for buffets and food stations.

The bridal suite! This is just a portion of the whole suite. It also includes a full shower, full kitchen and a changing room.

One of the many options available for utilizing the ceiling in the space.

A set-up they had for their Taste Of event with paper lantern hanging. 

I can't wait to work more with Sharon and start to talk about how we'll decorate, catering, etc... I can't believe that there are only 10 months until the wedding!

Wedding Inspiration: Brooch Bouquets

A couple of days ago my grandma (who is OBSESSED with Pinterest) pinned this absolutely gorgeous brooch bouquet.I instantly fell in love. I really hadn't given much thought about a brooch bouquet before. I've seen them on Pinterest and wedding blogs, but never considered the idea for my own bouquet. I've been so focused on finding the perfect flowers and colors and such. But something about this one just made me obsessed with the idea. It just looks so chic and sophisticated while also having a lot of uniqueness and flair. Amy commented on the pin and said she would start looking for brooches if I really want to do it, and if we can find brooches that look as great together as this (and some of the other lovely ones I have found) I would love to!

I love how you can pretty much take any combination of styles of brooches, and even colors, and somehow it all looks like it was meant to go together to begin with. The middle one with all of the different colored brooches is so much fun!

1. Chic Vintage Brides
2. Wedding Chicks
3. Lillybuds
4. Girly Wedding
5. NorCal Wedding
6. Green Wedding Shoes
7. SilverStems via Etsy

On Having a Church Wedding

Deciding on the type of ceremony we will have is something that really gave me a lot of anxiety. I was raised in the Catholic church. I was baptized, went to Bible school, participated in confession and had my First Communion. For a long time my family went to church every Sunday and I remember always having my "Sunday best" on. Joe was also raised Catholic and even went to Catholic school. As I got older we stopped going to church as much and eventually we stopped going at all. Occasionally I would go to Saturday night service with my grandma when she would take my great-grandma, but even that hasn't happened for a couple of years. There really isn't a big reason that I can remember why we stopped going to church every week, it's just something that faded out of our lives slowly until it just wasn't a part of our lives anymore. I've struggled for a long time about what I do and don't believe. I've tried many times to make sense of everything both religiously and not. It's always been something that has tugged on me and left me feeling confused more times than not. As someone that over thinks everything, this is really no surprise.

So as we started talking about our wedding ceremony we had to decide if we would go the church route, or opt for a different ceremony location and find an officiant. There have been no shortage of thoughts, opinions and suggestions. But it was a decision that inevitably ahas really been up to Joe and I. Knowing my feelings Joe was really great and let this decision ultimately be mine. After a lot of thinking, weighing pros and cons and taking different suggestions into consideration I decided that we would be married in a church.

I have been really worried about other people in this. Some of our friends and family aren't religious at all. Some follow different religions. Some really don't understand the need for a church at all or that type of wedding. For some reason the idea of someone making a snide remark about our decision or not being comfortable has worried me more than the personal decision itself. And to make me feel even sillier, this is a decision that comes so freely and thoughtless to other people. But here I am taking months to decide and worrying about everyone else. I suppose that's just how I am in most everything.

I really do feel like this will be the perfect ceremony for us. There is something comforting to me about the idea of walking down the aisle in a place where so many other people have started their own lives together, being watched over and cared for by something bigger than themselves (whatever or whomever you believe that is).

Neither of us, nor our families really belong to a church currently except for Joe's mom, so we are looking around at a couple of different churches that we feel like may be right for us. In the next week or two we plan on moving forward with the process to be married in the church. It's kind of a weird and scary and exciting experience all at once. It's going back to something that is both familiar and completely out of my comfort zone all at once. I think we're both glad to be moving on to the next step and have something marked off of the "to do" list.

1 Year

We've finally crossed the 1 year mark. This time next year, Joe and I will be married and, hopefully, on our honeymoon. I can't believe that we're finally counting down months. When someone asks me when the wedding is, it's not March of 2014 - it's March of next year. It's so exciting!

Photo taken by Amy during our Chicago trip over the weekend.

All I could think of all day Friday (the day exactly one year from our wedding date) was what I would be doing at that very moment a year from then. What would I be feeling and thinking? What dress would I be wearing? How would Joe be feeling? Will our wedding day be that perfect picture we'll work so hard to plan to the T, or will there be some bumps in the wedding road? And on and on and on. I really don't think I've ever been more excited for anything in my whole 23 years. To know that in less than a year I will be married to the guy that makes me laugh, the friend who is always there for me, the person I love with every inch of my being is overwhelming, but in the best way possible.

I really could go on, but I feel like there are only so many times I can explain how much I love Joe and how excited and happy I am to be marrying him before people that read this start rolling their eyes. But, above all else, I know that no matter what happens in the next year - ups, downs, wedding planning and feeling out this next phase - I have the person I feel the most comfortable with beside me. I can't wait for the next 359 days to go by so that I can walk down the aisle and say "I do"!

An Update

Things have been really crazy lately, both on the personal front as well as with the wedding. We're kind of entering a time where it seems like everything is happening all at once, and while it is exciting and new, it is also stressful and scary! We're really very lucky to have friends and family around us that are supportive and encouraging, especially entering this next phase of life. I really think I would lose a little bit of my sanity if I didn't have other people around who cared about my blabbing away about everything that is happening.

First off, both Joseph and myself have been very lucky to come across new jobs that I think will really be good stepping stones for us. Last week Joe accepted a sales position with Comcast. While he liked his most recent job, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be and that's all I'll really say about that. This job is about a million times more stable ad has much more to offer in the way of building a career! With Comcast being such a huge company I think we both feel a little more comfortable with him being there. This new job will also bring along a lot of great benefits, not to mention free internet and cable! (I'm kind of glad about this because we were really thinking about going the no cable route, but I just developed a BBC crush.) Things on my end are looking good as well! Last week I had an interview for a marketing assistant position at Visit Fort Wayne/the Fort Wayne Visitors Center. I am feeling very fortunate to have been offered the position! Visit Fort Wayne is kind of the whole marketing force behind Fort Wayne tourism so I'm very excited. I'll be working downtown which is where I definitely wanted to be and I can start while I'm still in school. I really, honestly, love Fort Wayne so the fact that a big part of my job will be to make other people love Fort Wayne is something I'm looking forward to. I'm also just relieved to have found a job that's in my field and that will be giving me the experience I want and need before I've even graduated. Plus, I get my very own desk, which is pretty exciting and grown-up in my eyes.

In addition to all of the good job news, we are in the process of looking for an apartment/house/duplex/somewhere that will put a roof over our heads. It's been kind of tedious narrowing down something we feel we can comfortably afford that also allows pets. I never thought it would be so difficult to find somewhere we love that will also let us have Gidget, and is in an area we like. At first I was really opposed to going the apartment complex route. I've lived in apartments for almost 4 years and am ready to have a little more space. But, I stumbled upon a complex that I liked and that had good recommendations from friends that had lived there. Not to mention they are one of the only places in town that does not have additional pet fees! We found a townhouse that we really like and decided to go ahead and at least try to get approved before they ran out. It's been two weeks since then and we're still waiting. It's been a lot of getting the right paperwork and such, but we're hoping to find out next week. I really love this townhouse because it isn't too big (it's actually smaller than my current apartment in square footage), but still offers a little space. It's basically just the same as an apartment, there are just stairs splitting the living area from the bedroom. The price is pretty reasonable, especially split in half,  and any additional money we spend on rent here would more than make up for the money we would spend elsewhere with extra pet rent and paying to do laundry (I already have my own washer and dryer and many other apartment complexes don't even have hookups in many buildings) We're still keeping our options open, but are definitely hoping for our application to be accepted.

We are also making a little headway in the wedding department! We made an official decision on the type of ceremony we will be having. I'll write a different post about that. I also scheduled my first real dress shopping appointment at Touma's Bridal for just a couple of months from now. Really I've been bursting at the seams to try dresses on, but I want to lose a little bit of weight before I do. This will give me a little time to tone and tighten, as well as finish up school so I can bask in the glory of all the poof I will be surrounded with. Next up is finalizing the ceremony location and moving on to the reception venue. There are a couple that we are very serious and interested in, so I hope the decision isn't too painful. I think we're entering that time where there is a bunch to do all at once and it's kind of overwhelming. I think once we get past ceremony and reception locations I'll feel a little better. Then it will be on to the details!

Things are definitely moving right along and we are very excited to see how it all pans out!

To Get Married In A Church, Or Not

First of all, I know for some people this kind of thing can be a touchy subject. But, as with everything so far, I'm really trying to share my whole thought and planning process, so sharing this is also important to me as with everything else. I am not very religious. This is not to say that I don't have my own beliefs, or that I am completely anti-religion, I'm just not 100% positive where I lie on the subject. I have long history with trying to find myself in this aspect and with exploring different religions, practices, beliefs, etc... I just haven't quite yet figured out exactly what I do and do not believe and what exactly I feel my faith is. So, one of the biggest things I have been struggling with since day one has been whether or not to have a church and/or religious wedding.

I grew up Catholic. My grandma attended Catholic schools her whole life and my grandparents were married at Most Precious Blood Catholic Church, the church that my grandma grew up in. My parents were married in the Cathedral in downtown Fort Wayne. I was both baptized and had my first communion through the Catholic church and up until I was in middle school, I attended Sunday school and church services regularly. Then we stopped going. I would go to church with my dad occasionally, not Catholic church, but I still had some religion in my life. I would tag a long with my grandma when she would take my great-grandma to Saturday evening mass, but my days as a regular church attendee were over. As I reached high school I began to really question a lot of what I knew about religion and throughout the years I have struggled with what I do and do not believe. I have had spurts where I'll start to really try to commit to something, but I get scared and let my thoughts and uncertainty take over.

When Joseph and I began discussing ceremony locations, who would officiate, etc... we kind of hit a wall. I was not opposed to the idea of getting married in a church, even initially, I just did not feel the connection that I felt should be necessary to make a church wedding meaningful. Joe on the other hand very much wanted a church wedding right off the bat. Even with this difference in opinion Joe let me know that he wanted it to be my decision and what I am comfortable with. I took his words and really sat on them. I have spent the last 7 months going back and forth in my head about what the right choice for us is. I've really done a ton of thinking, because the main event of the wedding IS THE CEREMONY! That's why everyone is there; to see you tie the knot! So, I've really been having a little internal battle over whether I would like to have our ceremony in a church or in a neutral location with a justice of the peace, professional officiant, or someone who is close to us conducting the ceremony. I took a lot into consideration including, both of our beliefs, our families wishes, how comfortable we would be in each scenario, our budget, etc... I also looked around at what other brides in the area have done and tried to look around for some pros and cons kind of things for each option.

I am still going back and forth with this decision. It's definitely not something I am taking lightly. In my mind, this is one of the most important decisions in this whole wedding process. It is so important for me to have the ceremony that best represents us, our beliefs, our families, and makes us feel most at ease. I really wish it was an easier choice for me and that I didn't feel so conflicted. It really is the most personal decision of all, and something that I want Joe and myself to both be beyond comfortable and happy with. I know that no matter what we end up deciding, our ceremony will be special, it's just reaching the decision that might take a little more time.