10 months - already (almost)!

I thought about blogging after 1 month. Then again a couple of months after that. At 6 months I thought to myself "I should really get something written for 6 months of marriage". And now, here we are, almost at 10 (TEN) full months of wedded bliss (cliche to say, I know) and I can't believe that a full year of marriage will be here before we know it! I remember thinking to myself this time last year just how quickly our wedding day would come. My birthday, then the holidays, and then just about 2 months until we would walk down the aisle. And now I'm sitting here, thinking the same thing, except about being married to Joe for one full year. (Maybe one of my "resolutions" for 2015 will be to blog more?)

It's been an eventful 10 months to say the least, with a lot of growing personally, professionally and coupley (I made that last word up - whatever). I don't know how to describe how it feels to be months into our marriage, because there isn't one word, or even two, to describe it.

Right after the wedding I felt really depressed. Not about being married, not one bit! But, that everything was over. Friends stopped checking in as much, there were no more weekends spent with my mom and my grandma planning everything and running errands, my dream wedding dress was worn and quickly retired, there was no more hoopla, no more "excitement". I found out this is legitimately called the Post-Wedding Blues and many brides really go through it post-wedding. Not because they aren't happy, but because a wedding has so much build-up and everything is hyper-sensationalized, and then over in one blink. That was over after a month or two. However, my wedding dress is still hanging out in our bedroom outside of our closet door and occasionally I wish I could wear it all over again!

Both Joe and I also got new jobs, and with these new jobs came new hours, travel, better pay, benefits, vacation time and all that fun stuff. I wouldn't say we didn't have "grown-up" jobs before, but our new positions definitely have us feeling a lot more financially stable and like we are both on great career paths now! Joe was gone for his job a lot at the beginning, and I spent many weeks at home by myself - but it's all good. We did the semi-long distance thing when I was in college so we survived. He's been home for the last couple of months, but will start traveling a bit again here in a couple of weeks. It shouldn't be too bad this time around though! I've also gotten to do some travel for my job - in the first couple of month at my job I got to go to San Diego and Kelowna, British Columbia in Canada! It's been a little bit of an adjustment. Our previous schedules were a lot more flexible, but I'd say the trade-off has been more than worth it.

As for our own relationship, I definitely notice a change, but can't quite put my finger on it. We were together for 4 years before getting married and had lived together for a few months before making it official, so I like to think we knew the ins and outs of one another. But, something is definitely different, but a good different. I feel like I love even more and put even more thought and care into my actions that affect Joe and our marriage. Dating is a commitment, but marriage is a whole different ball game. It's been so great to see how our relationship has evolved over the last 5+ years, and in the first months of being married!

I really just can't believe that a year of marriage is creeping up on us in just a couple of months! It really does fly by and I'm just going along taking it all in and enjoying every second of this crazy new life!

18 Days

18 Days. Just 18 days until the wedding. We're now in the teens in the countdown and it just doesn't seem possible! It doesn't seem like it was too long ago that we were anticipating hitting the one year mark, and then getting to 365 days seemed like the big day was right there. Now we're 18 days away - less than 3 weeks! There's been equal parts happiness and stress along the way, but I think we're finally at the point where it's simply pulling everything together and setting the plans for the actual wedding day!

As our wedding day gets closer, I think every night Joe and I climb into bed we just lay there and talk about how we can't wait to be married. We'll say "this time in X amount of days we'll be married", and then laugh at how pathetic and sappy we sound. Joe keeps jokingly asking me if I'm going to tell him how excited I am every night until we're married, and then tell him how excited I am to BE married.

It really is a weird mix of emotions right now. Sometimes I get really nervous and scared. Other times I catch myself smiling and feeling giddy for no reason. Overall I'm just excited. I'm excited that Joe and I will finally be married. I'm excited to see what the future has in store for both of us. I'm excited to buy a house and start a family. I'm excited that all of the craziness that is being engaged will finally culminate with our wedding. I'm excited that I can finally look at a calendar and see the present day and the wedding day on the same page.

We freaked out when the countdown got under 100. We got excited when we hit the 2 month mark. And now, a few days over 2 weeks, it's just all really surreal. Everything's coming together, the finishing touches are being added, and the finish line is in sight! Now we're looking ahead to March 1st instead of just planning for it. It can't come soon enough!

The Final Countdown

When I started this blog I wanted to post so much about our wedding journey. But between school, work, anxieties, laziness, moving, actual wedding planning, and just plain life...that hasn't been the case. And now there are suddenly just 45 days until our wedding day and I cannot believe it! We have a countdown going on our chalkboard in the living room and I swear it makes the days go even faster! There's still so much to do. I don't think I realized how all-consuming planning a wedding would be. Joe and I were joking the other night about how we don't know what we're going to do post-wedding because almost every day/night is filled with some sort of wedding related task.

Luckily we've reached the point where the big things are pretty much done, and now it's making the final touches and doing the little things I want to add. My dress has been fitted, all the bridesmaids have their dresses, the boys have ordered their tuxes, we both have our wedding rings, the little ones know what they're wearing, centerpieces have been picked, flowers have been chosen, we're almost done with our pre-marriage counseling, invitations have been mailed - and tons more. It's crazy to look at how much is done. It doesn't seem like a lot until you write it all out.

It's really hard to believe that when we got engaged there were over 500 days until the wedding, and now we're under 50! It's a little surreal, exciting and terrifying all mixed into one.

As we get closer to the big day I'm so thankful for all of the love and support we've gotten from our family and friends throughout our whole engagement. I'm glad I have friends that let me talk about the wedding and don't get annoyed with me and that have offered me so much advice and support along the way. I really can't wait to celebrate with everyone and become a married lady so soon!

**when I wrote this it was 45 - now it is 43!!!

A Little Confession

I’ve sat down a million times to update this wedding blog. To inform anyone who may be tuning in on the goings on of this wedding that is just 3 ½ months away! But, every time I write I get about half way done and then I close my computer and walk away. It’s not because there is a lack of activity. We have gotten so much done lately that it’s making my head spin! But I think it is more because I am not enjoying the process as much as I thought I would, or feel like I should be, or want to. I think I’m afraid to say that, so I just don’t say anything.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot that I’ve enjoyed doing. The day we went and picked out my wedding dress was so much fun. Asking my bridesmaids is one of my favorite projects I’ve done for the wedding thus far, and even though the boxes were a lot of work, the end product and getting to hand each one of them something I put time, effort and love into meant a lot to me. Chowing down on catering options and cake flavors has been delicious and fun. However, a lot of it gets to be very overwhelming.

How do you translate the vision you’ve had in your head (and on your Pinterest board) into the real deal? How do you work within a budget when everyone you’re working with passes that over when they hand you a bill or an estimate? How do you keep EVERYONE involved happy while making yourself happy at the same time?

I am a person that is just very anxious by nature. My heart jumps when the phone rings. I stopped wanting actual birthday parties when I was 18 because I was afraid no one would come. The mere thought of pissing someone off makes my palms sweat. Granted, I am very good at masking and hiding my anxiety by being sassy when possible and most people I know probably would never expect it. The whole wedding planning process has thrown it into overdrive.

All of the miniscule decisions everyone says you’ll have to make that you don’t think you’ll have to make – you make. (I spent 10 minutes the other night at the place we’re getting our invitations from just deciding on if I wanted the inside of the envelope to be pink or silver!) The fights with your fiancé and/or family member’s people warn you about that you laugh off – they’ll happen. Your idea of ‘this is our wedding and we’re going to do exactly what we want no matter what”, probably out the window. People that are in the wedding - and even people that aren't - will criticize, question, complain about some of your choices (the tux rental is expensive, why are you getting married on THAT day, etc...). Wedding world is a different world. I commend and congratulate and am extremely jealous of any couple that really, truly gets to make every decision and have everything turn out perfect and never feel an ounce of guilt or frustration or nervousness. I am not that person.

Everything from the time of year we are getting married, to where we are registered at has been a tipping point for my anxiety. People (by people I mean maybe a small handful of people, but I digress) love to comment that on our wedding day there will probably be ice/snow/cold/tornados/any other gross sounding weather event on March 1^st. When I tell people where we are registered I get nervous they will somehow judge us for registering somewhere too fancy, or for too nice of things (which really is ridiculous because your wedding is the 1 time people will splurge on you and buy you nicer things without you having to gift back, and in that case I should have just registered at the Dollar Store). Having a religious wedding has been of some contention from friends and family “(I’m not religious”, “Ugh Catholic weddings are so long and boring and UGH”) to which I do my nervous laugh and scoot away.

I don’t really want to keep dragging on, I’m sure you get the point; I care too much about what everyone else thinks, which is dragging me down and making me not enjoy the process as much as I should be. Maybe I am overly emotional and sensitive, or maybe I am completely normal and justified. Maybe this is just a blip that every bride goes through when things come down to the last few months and planning goes into overload.

Whatever it is, and whether the words I am typing at this point even make sense, I just needed to get it out. And now I can hopefully move on and be a happy bride leading up to the wedding. I had my first bridal shower this weekend which was a great chance to start the wedding celebrations, be reminded of how many wonderful people are in my life, and relax and enjoy myself.

Those are the things I should be focusing on!

An Update

Oh hey, I have a wedding blog! A lot has been happening lately and it's all kind of starting to feel real. We're winding down on making the big decisions, and are starting to think about the little details that will pull everything together. I haven't had any other major freak outs lately and I'd prefer to keep it that way! Occasionally I get a little anxious or panicked, but I've been able to keep myself chilled out for the most part. A couple of the big things that have happened in the last month + are:

• We registered for our wedding gifts. We ended up making registries at three different places. I've been really worried that people would think I was selfish or greedy or something for having three, but 1. This is my one and only wedding. 2. Each place has very specific and different items. (aka we're not registered for a million of the same thing at different places just because we want something) and 3. My grandma assured me that it's ok and I really trust my grandma...so there. We're registered at Williams Sonoma (kitchen stuff), Macy's (nice plates, some cooking, bedding) and Bed Bath & Beyond (everyday use kind of stuff + some fun things). 
• My first bridal shower is coming up. My godparents go to California for the winter every year, so unfortunately they won't be here for the wedding. So, my godmother asked if she could throw me a bridal shower before the holidays. I'm having two showers altogether. This one which will be my family, family friends, and my friends and a second one thrown by Joe's family that will be his family and family friends. In fact, my shower invitations just went out this week so people should be getting them soon if they don't have them already! I'm really excited to celebrate with some of my favorite people and start the wedding festivities, even if it will still be 3 1/2 months out. 
•  My wedding dress if finally in! Way back in June I found the perfect wedding dress and got all measured for it and the order was placed. This past Thursday I got a phone call from the bridal store that it has finally arrived! It really took everything in me to not leave work right that very minute and go try it on, but I refrained. My grandma is out of town until next Sunday, so even though I want to see it right now, I'm going to wait until she gets home. I'm hoping that still I love it as much as I did when I said yes to my dress!
• We have a DJ. The DJ hunt was actually pretty easy. Dupont Downs has a list of vendors that they work with often that they have good relationships with, and they give this list to their couples to help narrow down the vendor hunt. One of the DJ companies on there is Quattro Systems. I looked them up and emailed back and forth with one of their reps before signing out contract. They have a flat fee, which is great (aka no hidden charges or extra costs for things) and they have a great reputation. They even make choosing your songs easy. Up until a week or two before your wedding you can work in a digital worksheet that breaks down all of the different songs for different "events" throughout the night, as well as a section to list songs you really want played, and songs you could live without hearing. I'm looking forward to working with them more.

I'll elaborate on some of these things more later, but those are some of the major things. We still need to wrap up and solidify everything with catering, order flowers, take care of the cake, and then start nailing down some of the other details such as groomsmen, ring bearer and flower girl attire - but I have a good idea of what they'll all be wearing. We also have a lot of smaller details to tie everything together and add some special touches that we'd like to do, so those will be coming along as well. 

I just can't believe how fast March 1st is coming. We are just a little more than 4 months away! There is still so much to get done, but I know in the end everything will come together.

The Great Photographer Search (Part 2)

I've addressed our search for a wonderful photographer many times. Our wedding photos are probably one of the absolute most important parts of the wedding to me - they're really the only permanent, tangible thing to come out of the whole wedding (besides the actual marriage obviously). We had narrowed it down to two great photographers and were on the brink of finalizing that decision when I was given an offer that I couldn't say no to. A very good family friend that has worked with my family's business for years has a huge photography business out of Chicago (with studios also in Little Rock and Baton Rouge!), Ocken Photography. Chris, one of the 3 photographers that are a part of the business (Chris, his wife Jen and brother Bob), approached my mom about doing my and Joe's wedding pictures one day. After a little discussion and joking around he said that he would seriously love to do them and would give us a VERY good, reasonable, price compared to their normal rate and that he would do anything and everything I wanted. I really couldn't refuse.

I've been a little nervous. I have ideas of what I want and a style that I love, not to mention that the two photographers that we had narrowed it down to are known for doing amazing things with weddings. Some of the photography that the Ocken's does isn't necessarily what I like, but is very beautiful. But after looking around the website, their Facebook page and blog, I realized just how versatile their photography really is. They can adjust the way they shoot, edit, etc... to exactly what each couple wants - something many photographers can't or don't do. They were even voted as The Knot Best of Weddings 2013, so I'm pretty confident that we are going to have some great photographs. 

                      

It feels good to have another huge part of our wedding in place. In just 2 weeks we will be getting our engagement pictures taken, which I am beyond excited for! My mind is busy trying to decide on a location/locations, what to wear, and all of that other fun stuff. I can't wait to get a first glance at what we can expect to see with our wedding pictures, and to start working with Chris, and Ocken Photography!

All photos can be found here.

I'm Officially a College Graduate

Last Saturday I joined the ranks of college graduates! It was a pretty wild, long and trying 5 years but I am beyond relieved and proud of myself for pushing through and getting my diploma.  

Now that schoolwork, finals and graduation day are all behind me I'm ready to see what this new chapter of my life has in store for me! As for as the very near future that means working more, continuing to settle into my and Joe's new place and WEDDING PLANNING! We have our date secured at the church, a very near secured photographer and I made an appointment to visit a venue I LOVE for next week. June will bring wedding dress shopping, engagement pictures and hopefully getting my bridesmaids together all in one place (fingers crossed) so everyone can get acquainted and we can pick out dresses. I just hope everything starts falling into place!

1. Me with proof I graduated.
2. Momma and I before I went to line up for the main ceremony.
3. My friend Kate and I after becoming Ball State alumni!
4. Handsome brothers.
5. Me and my dad.
6. My mom and brothers.
7. My very happy grandparents.
8. I finally got a picture with the photographer at the end of the day!

Settling In

Joe and I moved into our very own townhouse a little over a week ago! We had a lot of help from our wonderful friends and family and have been spending any free time trying to get everything put away and organized. It's been an interesting 10 days - getting used to each other's schedules, making the place feel like a home, getting used to being around each other every day, and seeing the little habits that were hidden when we weren't living together. But, it's been great!

I can't believe that after 3 years of long distance we finally live in the same place, and for good! It's a wonderful feeling. Even though we still have things we need to buy, boxes that still need to be put away and things that we don't have a lot of room for (hello to my massive shoe collection), I am so over the moon happy.

It feels good to be home.

An Update, Update

A couple of weeks ago I gave a little update on my and Joe's lives both in and out of our wedding bubble. I talked about getting jobs, ending college, looking for a place to live and making some decisions with the wedding. I'm sure everyone has been waiting with bated breath (joking) to see how everything is going, well wonder no more because here's a little update on the update!

I mentioned before that I had been offered a Marketing Assistant position with Visit Fort Wayne/the Fort Wayne Visitors Center. Well, I started that position a little over 2 weeks ago and I absolutely love it! Besides assisting with all of the marketing goodness, I am going to be in charge of our deals/promotions/giveaways as well as doing some blog writing. It's a really great opportunity and I feel so lucky to have found a job that I love before I've even graduated. The 3 other people I work with in marketing, as well as the rest of the staff, have been so great to me these last couple of weeks as I get my footing and learn new things. I even have my own office space!

My little office area. It's coming together!

 Joe has also started a new job. He is going to be working as a sales representative for Comcast. While he accepted the position weeks ago, there was a long process of doing paperwork and background checks and signing a contact (THE LONGEST PROCESS EVER). He just started today and will spend the next month going through training in both Fort Wayne and Indianapolis. This week he is down in Indy learning all about his new job and spending his off time relaxing in his hotel. We're both thrilled that this job has a set salary with the addition of commission, plus lots of important benefits like health insurance. Stability, especially after his previous employment position, is so so SO nice.

Just because I can, I would like to say that there are only 47 days left until I graduate college. That's right, FORTY SEVEN. It doesn't seem like it can be that close, but so far away at the same time. We're starting to talk about final projects in my classes which is making it seem even crazier!

In addition to new jobs, and keeping a running countdown leading to the end of my college career, we have found a new place to live! On our way out the door to head to Chicago with the Poole's we got a call that we had been approved for the apartment that we love! We really weighed our options and took some other places we had looked at into consideration, but we just couldn't pass on this townhouse. We will be living in Woodbridge Apartments in a little 2 bedroom townhouse. Little and townhouse don't seem like they would go together, but it's just 900 some square feet. We mostly just wanted there to be a little more space for Gidget to run around, and even for ourselves since this will be the first time we're living together. So, having the stairs to divide the space will be nice. I wasn't too excited about the thought of living in yet another apartment complex, but Woodbridge is huge and has a lot of space for taking Gidget on walks and riding bikes. There's even swimming pools and a workout area too. We will sign the lease on April 12th and start moving in that weekend. Needless to say, the packing process is slowly beginning, and by slowly I mean I have 6 boxes done (2 of which were still technically packed from my move down to Muncie) and a whole apartments worth to go. But I think we're both really excited and can't wait to have a little home together.

Packing progress...

I also mentioned that we had made a decision about the type of wedding ceremony we would be having. This is something I especially struggled with deciding about for a lot of different reasons. In the end, we have decided to opt to have our wedding ceremony in a church. We are thinking about a couple of different churches, as neither of us currently is a member at a particular one, but I think we are very close to making a solid decision. I'll elaborate a little bit on this in a different post, but there it is, I've kind of sort of made a real wedding decision! This is exciting because once the ceremony location is solidified we can set a reception venue! Between my mom, grandma, Joe and I we have plenty of great ideas in mind and I'm hoping to make some appointments in the next couple of weeks. Once we set the ceremony and reception venues we'll move on to hiring a photographer. From the photogs I was thinking about here, there are two that I am very seriously considering. I suppose the next step would be to set up some meetings and compare package prices. If all goes well I'd love to get our engagement pictures taken in May or June before it gets too hot outside. I know in the next couple of months more and more planning will take place and it's very exciting and very overwhelming!

So, there you have it. This is our lives in a nutshell! Work, school, moving and wedding planning.

1 Year

We've finally crossed the 1 year mark. This time next year, Joe and I will be married and, hopefully, on our honeymoon. I can't believe that we're finally counting down months. When someone asks me when the wedding is, it's not March of 2014 - it's March of next year. It's so exciting!

Photo taken by Amy during our Chicago trip over the weekend.

All I could think of all day Friday (the day exactly one year from our wedding date) was what I would be doing at that very moment a year from then. What would I be feeling and thinking? What dress would I be wearing? How would Joe be feeling? Will our wedding day be that perfect picture we'll work so hard to plan to the T, or will there be some bumps in the wedding road? And on and on and on. I really don't think I've ever been more excited for anything in my whole 23 years. To know that in less than a year I will be married to the guy that makes me laugh, the friend who is always there for me, the person I love with every inch of my being is overwhelming, but in the best way possible.

I really could go on, but I feel like there are only so many times I can explain how much I love Joe and how excited and happy I am to be marrying him before people that read this start rolling their eyes. But, above all else, I know that no matter what happens in the next year - ups, downs, wedding planning and feeling out this next phase - I have the person I feel the most comfortable with beside me. I can't wait for the next 359 days to go by so that I can walk down the aisle and say "I do"!

An Update

Things have been really crazy lately, both on the personal front as well as with the wedding. We're kind of entering a time where it seems like everything is happening all at once, and while it is exciting and new, it is also stressful and scary! We're really very lucky to have friends and family around us that are supportive and encouraging, especially entering this next phase of life. I really think I would lose a little bit of my sanity if I didn't have other people around who cared about my blabbing away about everything that is happening.

First off, both Joseph and myself have been very lucky to come across new jobs that I think will really be good stepping stones for us. Last week Joe accepted a sales position with Comcast. While he liked his most recent job, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be and that's all I'll really say about that. This job is about a million times more stable ad has much more to offer in the way of building a career! With Comcast being such a huge company I think we both feel a little more comfortable with him being there. This new job will also bring along a lot of great benefits, not to mention free internet and cable! (I'm kind of glad about this because we were really thinking about going the no cable route, but I just developed a BBC crush.) Things on my end are looking good as well! Last week I had an interview for a marketing assistant position at Visit Fort Wayne/the Fort Wayne Visitors Center. I am feeling very fortunate to have been offered the position! Visit Fort Wayne is kind of the whole marketing force behind Fort Wayne tourism so I'm very excited. I'll be working downtown which is where I definitely wanted to be and I can start while I'm still in school. I really, honestly, love Fort Wayne so the fact that a big part of my job will be to make other people love Fort Wayne is something I'm looking forward to. I'm also just relieved to have found a job that's in my field and that will be giving me the experience I want and need before I've even graduated. Plus, I get my very own desk, which is pretty exciting and grown-up in my eyes.

In addition to all of the good job news, we are in the process of looking for an apartment/house/duplex/somewhere that will put a roof over our heads. It's been kind of tedious narrowing down something we feel we can comfortably afford that also allows pets. I never thought it would be so difficult to find somewhere we love that will also let us have Gidget, and is in an area we like. At first I was really opposed to going the apartment complex route. I've lived in apartments for almost 4 years and am ready to have a little more space. But, I stumbled upon a complex that I liked and that had good recommendations from friends that had lived there. Not to mention they are one of the only places in town that does not have additional pet fees! We found a townhouse that we really like and decided to go ahead and at least try to get approved before they ran out. It's been two weeks since then and we're still waiting. It's been a lot of getting the right paperwork and such, but we're hoping to find out next week. I really love this townhouse because it isn't too big (it's actually smaller than my current apartment in square footage), but still offers a little space. It's basically just the same as an apartment, there are just stairs splitting the living area from the bedroom. The price is pretty reasonable, especially split in half,  and any additional money we spend on rent here would more than make up for the money we would spend elsewhere with extra pet rent and paying to do laundry (I already have my own washer and dryer and many other apartment complexes don't even have hookups in many buildings) We're still keeping our options open, but are definitely hoping for our application to be accepted.

We are also making a little headway in the wedding department! We made an official decision on the type of ceremony we will be having. I'll write a different post about that. I also scheduled my first real dress shopping appointment at Touma's Bridal for just a couple of months from now. Really I've been bursting at the seams to try dresses on, but I want to lose a little bit of weight before I do. This will give me a little time to tone and tighten, as well as finish up school so I can bask in the glory of all the poof I will be surrounded with. Next up is finalizing the ceremony location and moving on to the reception venue. There are a couple that we are very serious and interested in, so I hope the decision isn't too painful. I think we're entering that time where there is a bunch to do all at once and it's kind of overwhelming. I think once we get past ceremony and reception locations I'll feel a little better. Then it will be on to the details!

Things are definitely moving right along and we are very excited to see how it all pans out!