I'm Officially a College Graduate

Last Saturday I joined the ranks of college graduates! It was a pretty wild, long and trying 5 years but I am beyond relieved and proud of myself for pushing through and getting my diploma.  

Now that schoolwork, finals and graduation day are all behind me I'm ready to see what this new chapter of my life has in store for me! As for as the very near future that means working more, continuing to settle into my and Joe's new place and WEDDING PLANNING! We have our date secured at the church, a very near secured photographer and I made an appointment to visit a venue I LOVE for next week. June will bring wedding dress shopping, engagement pictures and hopefully getting my bridesmaids together all in one place (fingers crossed) so everyone can get acquainted and we can pick out dresses. I just hope everything starts falling into place!

1. Me with proof I graduated.
2. Momma and I before I went to line up for the main ceremony.
3. My friend Kate and I after becoming Ball State alumni!
4. Handsome brothers.
5. Me and my dad.
6. My mom and brothers.
7. My very happy grandparents.
8. I finally got a picture with the photographer at the end of the day!

Settling In

Joe and I moved into our very own townhouse a little over a week ago! We had a lot of help from our wonderful friends and family and have been spending any free time trying to get everything put away and organized. It's been an interesting 10 days - getting used to each other's schedules, making the place feel like a home, getting used to being around each other every day, and seeing the little habits that were hidden when we weren't living together. But, it's been great!

I can't believe that after 3 years of long distance we finally live in the same place, and for good! It's a wonderful feeling. Even though we still have things we need to buy, boxes that still need to be put away and things that we don't have a lot of room for (hello to my massive shoe collection), I am so over the moon happy.

It feels good to be home.

It's Almost Moving Day!

It's been one of those weeks where the amount of things on my to-do list, and the amount of hours in the day do not seem to match up. I have driving, work, group meetings, two presentations, my exit interview for my major, and, oh yeah, I'm moving this weekend too! So, I've been trying to pack up my apartment as much as I can when I can find the time. The good (and maybe bad) news is that it's only Wednesday! As the last couple of weeks of school have gotten busier and busier, wedding planning hasn't been anywhere near my radar as sad as I am about it. But I keep telling myself that this is why we decided to have a little bit longer of an engagement. I honestly can't imagine having to be making important, time sensitive, wedding decisions right now. But even so, something exciting happened this past week. The church we are getting married at officially put our wedding date in the books! We're making progress! Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

After graduation I have all kinds of things wedding-related on my list and it will be full speed ahead! In the next couple of weeks I want to have the reception venue and photographer booked. In the next couple of months I want to start the hunt for my dress, get some concrete ideas for bridesmaid dresses, get the bridal party (or as many of them as possible) together, have our engagement pictures taken and talk to caterers. It's going to be nice to finally devote some time to doing this. There's been a lot of talk, a lot of "we should think about that" and "I'll get around to it" and then not thinking about it or getting to it.

Even with as excited as I am about that, I'm more excited right now about moving. Yes, this weekend (Friday to be exact) Joseph and I will be signing the lease to our very own apartment! Sunday will be the day we do the whole big move, so we've both been busy packing up our current apartments, setting up utilities and getting ready to take this next big leap. I'm pretty excited to get out of my Muncie digs. After 3 years I'm ready for a new home.

To get myself through the week I've been trying to stay focused on the things that I'm really excited about for the move. I could probably go on and on because I've been excited about getting out of Muncie for some time now, but if I had to choose just 5, these would be it:

• Living in the same place as Joe. I don't just mean the actual home. Joe and I haven't lived in the same city (not counting school breaks) for 3 whole years! This is also a little scary, but I'm mostly excited to not have to wait days and weeks to see him. I'm sure we might experience a little overload and we'll have to feel out alone time and personal space, but I think it will mostly be great. There also won't be that pesky distance and hour and a half drive in the way.
•  Cooking. I LOVE to cook and bake. For a long time I got in the habit of making myself home cooked meals but ever since I took my job, and started going back and forth between Muncie and Fort Wayne daily, it hasn't made much sense to buy groceries. Cooking real food always makes me feel happier and healthier. It's also a little cheaper than eating out!
•  Having more room to walk Gidget. My current apartment complex is relatively small. It's just one big loop that takes up about 10 minutes to get around. I love to go on walks and Gidget loves them too. Our new complex is seriously huge! There's even walking paths to go through and a conjoining housing addition. AKA there will be tons of places to walk Gidget and get some exercise in for both of us.
• Decorating. My apartment has had the same set-up with my furniture, wall art, etc... ever since I moved in. Having a little change in indoor scenery will be nice. I can't wait to have a new furniture layout, change out picture frames and have new wall art. Not to mention the Poole's got us an awesome chalkboard for our wall that I've been dreaming about putting up since our Chicago Ikea visit.
• Being closer to family and friends. The location of our apartment is going to be really great. It's in a pretty central location in town. It's 10 minutes to my mom, 10 minutes to his mom, 10 minutes to his brother and his family, 10-15 minutes to each of our offices, 5 minutes to the mall and Target (the important stuff obviously) and 5-10 minutes to the grocery. Our friends that live in town are only a handful of minutes away too. 

I'm hoping the move is relatively painless and easy. I really can't wait to sign my name on the lease and get the keys to our new home!

An Update, Update

A couple of weeks ago I gave a little update on my and Joe's lives both in and out of our wedding bubble. I talked about getting jobs, ending college, looking for a place to live and making some decisions with the wedding. I'm sure everyone has been waiting with bated breath (joking) to see how everything is going, well wonder no more because here's a little update on the update!

I mentioned before that I had been offered a Marketing Assistant position with Visit Fort Wayne/the Fort Wayne Visitors Center. Well, I started that position a little over 2 weeks ago and I absolutely love it! Besides assisting with all of the marketing goodness, I am going to be in charge of our deals/promotions/giveaways as well as doing some blog writing. It's a really great opportunity and I feel so lucky to have found a job that I love before I've even graduated. The 3 other people I work with in marketing, as well as the rest of the staff, have been so great to me these last couple of weeks as I get my footing and learn new things. I even have my own office space!

My little office area. It's coming together!

 Joe has also started a new job. He is going to be working as a sales representative for Comcast. While he accepted the position weeks ago, there was a long process of doing paperwork and background checks and signing a contact (THE LONGEST PROCESS EVER). He just started today and will spend the next month going through training in both Fort Wayne and Indianapolis. This week he is down in Indy learning all about his new job and spending his off time relaxing in his hotel. We're both thrilled that this job has a set salary with the addition of commission, plus lots of important benefits like health insurance. Stability, especially after his previous employment position, is so so SO nice.

Just because I can, I would like to say that there are only 47 days left until I graduate college. That's right, FORTY SEVEN. It doesn't seem like it can be that close, but so far away at the same time. We're starting to talk about final projects in my classes which is making it seem even crazier!

In addition to new jobs, and keeping a running countdown leading to the end of my college career, we have found a new place to live! On our way out the door to head to Chicago with the Poole's we got a call that we had been approved for the apartment that we love! We really weighed our options and took some other places we had looked at into consideration, but we just couldn't pass on this townhouse. We will be living in Woodbridge Apartments in a little 2 bedroom townhouse. Little and townhouse don't seem like they would go together, but it's just 900 some square feet. We mostly just wanted there to be a little more space for Gidget to run around, and even for ourselves since this will be the first time we're living together. So, having the stairs to divide the space will be nice. I wasn't too excited about the thought of living in yet another apartment complex, but Woodbridge is huge and has a lot of space for taking Gidget on walks and riding bikes. There's even swimming pools and a workout area too. We will sign the lease on April 12th and start moving in that weekend. Needless to say, the packing process is slowly beginning, and by slowly I mean I have 6 boxes done (2 of which were still technically packed from my move down to Muncie) and a whole apartments worth to go. But I think we're both really excited and can't wait to have a little home together.

Packing progress...

I also mentioned that we had made a decision about the type of wedding ceremony we would be having. This is something I especially struggled with deciding about for a lot of different reasons. In the end, we have decided to opt to have our wedding ceremony in a church. We are thinking about a couple of different churches, as neither of us currently is a member at a particular one, but I think we are very close to making a solid decision. I'll elaborate a little bit on this in a different post, but there it is, I've kind of sort of made a real wedding decision! This is exciting because once the ceremony location is solidified we can set a reception venue! Between my mom, grandma, Joe and I we have plenty of great ideas in mind and I'm hoping to make some appointments in the next couple of weeks. Once we set the ceremony and reception venues we'll move on to hiring a photographer. From the photogs I was thinking about here, there are two that I am very seriously considering. I suppose the next step would be to set up some meetings and compare package prices. If all goes well I'd love to get our engagement pictures taken in May or June before it gets too hot outside. I know in the next couple of months more and more planning will take place and it's very exciting and very overwhelming!

So, there you have it. This is our lives in a nutshell! Work, school, moving and wedding planning.

An Update

Things have been really crazy lately, both on the personal front as well as with the wedding. We're kind of entering a time where it seems like everything is happening all at once, and while it is exciting and new, it is also stressful and scary! We're really very lucky to have friends and family around us that are supportive and encouraging, especially entering this next phase of life. I really think I would lose a little bit of my sanity if I didn't have other people around who cared about my blabbing away about everything that is happening.

First off, both Joseph and myself have been very lucky to come across new jobs that I think will really be good stepping stones for us. Last week Joe accepted a sales position with Comcast. While he liked his most recent job, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be and that's all I'll really say about that. This job is about a million times more stable ad has much more to offer in the way of building a career! With Comcast being such a huge company I think we both feel a little more comfortable with him being there. This new job will also bring along a lot of great benefits, not to mention free internet and cable! (I'm kind of glad about this because we were really thinking about going the no cable route, but I just developed a BBC crush.) Things on my end are looking good as well! Last week I had an interview for a marketing assistant position at Visit Fort Wayne/the Fort Wayne Visitors Center. I am feeling very fortunate to have been offered the position! Visit Fort Wayne is kind of the whole marketing force behind Fort Wayne tourism so I'm very excited. I'll be working downtown which is where I definitely wanted to be and I can start while I'm still in school. I really, honestly, love Fort Wayne so the fact that a big part of my job will be to make other people love Fort Wayne is something I'm looking forward to. I'm also just relieved to have found a job that's in my field and that will be giving me the experience I want and need before I've even graduated. Plus, I get my very own desk, which is pretty exciting and grown-up in my eyes.

In addition to all of the good job news, we are in the process of looking for an apartment/house/duplex/somewhere that will put a roof over our heads. It's been kind of tedious narrowing down something we feel we can comfortably afford that also allows pets. I never thought it would be so difficult to find somewhere we love that will also let us have Gidget, and is in an area we like. At first I was really opposed to going the apartment complex route. I've lived in apartments for almost 4 years and am ready to have a little more space. But, I stumbled upon a complex that I liked and that had good recommendations from friends that had lived there. Not to mention they are one of the only places in town that does not have additional pet fees! We found a townhouse that we really like and decided to go ahead and at least try to get approved before they ran out. It's been two weeks since then and we're still waiting. It's been a lot of getting the right paperwork and such, but we're hoping to find out next week. I really love this townhouse because it isn't too big (it's actually smaller than my current apartment in square footage), but still offers a little space. It's basically just the same as an apartment, there are just stairs splitting the living area from the bedroom. The price is pretty reasonable, especially split in half,  and any additional money we spend on rent here would more than make up for the money we would spend elsewhere with extra pet rent and paying to do laundry (I already have my own washer and dryer and many other apartment complexes don't even have hookups in many buildings) We're still keeping our options open, but are definitely hoping for our application to be accepted.

We are also making a little headway in the wedding department! We made an official decision on the type of ceremony we will be having. I'll write a different post about that. I also scheduled my first real dress shopping appointment at Touma's Bridal for just a couple of months from now. Really I've been bursting at the seams to try dresses on, but I want to lose a little bit of weight before I do. This will give me a little time to tone and tighten, as well as finish up school so I can bask in the glory of all the poof I will be surrounded with. Next up is finalizing the ceremony location and moving on to the reception venue. There are a couple that we are very serious and interested in, so I hope the decision isn't too painful. I think we're entering that time where there is a bunch to do all at once and it's kind of overwhelming. I think once we get past ceremony and reception locations I'll feel a little better. Then it will be on to the details!

Things are definitely moving right along and we are very excited to see how it all pans out!

On the Near Future...

Can I just admit something right now? I'm a little scared and nervous and excited and overwhelmed all at once. In a little over 3 months I will be a college graduate. I've been looking forward to my college graduation from my very first day of college classes nearly 5 years ago. It hasn't always been a smooth ride. While much of my college experiences have been fulfilling, I've also had my struggles with anxiety and homesickness. So needless to say, closing this chapter of my life is much anticipated. I'm excited to venture into this new part of my life. I'll be entering a new era of independence (no longer supported by my family), entering the workforce, gaining even more responsibility for my life, planning a wedding, starting a life with Joe, and becoming a wife.  These are also the things that are currently terrifying me.

I've always been someone that teeters on this line of the thinking that the future is this super exciting adventure, and a terrifying, scary thing that I want to hide under my covers from. The uncertainty of all of the things that are coming my way makes me feel helpless sometimes. In the perfect world inside of my head I would already have a job lined up, a nice little house to live in, and enough money to never have to worry about paying rent and bills and still being able to live the way I'd like. However, reality is much, much different. I'm sure things will fall into place. I always have a tendency to freak out about things more than they are worth freaking out over. It's just that this next chapter of my life is suddenly feeling so real. I'm not just counting down the days until I graduate, I'm counting down the days while finishing up my last semester of classes and looking for an apartment/house to live in that falls in my and Joe's budget while looking for a job. I'm counting down to entering a new chapter of my life that involves a lot of things that will be new to me. The countdown used to just make me ecstatic, and now I have my brief moment of excitement paired with anxiety and panic.

I know this is likely how almost every soon-to-be graduate feels as their time in the little caccoon that is college starts to come to a close. Scared, afraid of what you don't know, fearing failing. I just feel like I'm afraid of so many things. I'm afraid of failing in the real world. I'm afraid to apply for jobs or send my resume out because I don't always think I'm near good enough. I'm afraid I won't be a good homemaker. I'm afraid that after 3 years of only getting to see each other once a week, being around each other constantly will change my and Joe's relationship. I'm afraid of what changes marriage will bring to friendships and other relationships. I'm afraid that I don't know what is going to happen in the future. I think I read somewhere that the things that scare you the most are the best things. I think I'll go with that.

I know that all I can do is feed myself positive thoughts. Graduating should be an exciting event and the next year should be a great adventure. I always find that I let my fear and anxiety keep me from doing so much, and enjoying so many things. I want to be able to fully experience the next year with complete and utter happiness, not fear. I think it's time to bring in some happy thoughts for a happy time.

"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn Is Just to Love and Be Loved In Return"

Today is Joe and I's 3 year anniversary. I can't believe that it's already been that long! When we first started talking I was just a teenager; so to now be 23 and engaged seems so crazy. We've had a lot of ups and downs over the last 3 years but I honestly would not trade any of it. I love him to the moon and back and can't imagine my life without him. He's my best friend, my one and only, the cheese to my macaroni, the pepperoni to my pizza, my future husband. 

If there is one thing that I have learned over the last 3 years it is that you can't plan on who you fall in love with or how hard you fall. It doesn't matter what the plan in your head was, or what others had in mind for you. When you find a love that is real and true and good nothing else matters. I've also learned to always trust your heart. I have found that it speaks volumes more than the thoughts floating around in your head. Love with everything you have, love like crazy. And, when you find that you can't stop smiling, you can't picture your life without the other person, and you feel like you've finally found the one person that knows you better than you know yourself, never let it go.

It hasn't always been easy, but what good is a relationship if you can coast right through it without experiencing everything there is to feel and fight for and see - good, bad, and ugly? 

I'm lucky enough to have found someone that loves me unconditionally even when I may not necessarily deserve it. He has his rough edges, but he is really just a giant, cuddly, teddy bear. Joe makes me feel special and smart and confident and beautiful, and most importantly, loved. I wouldn't trade any mountain peak or ocean floor for him. I can't wait to see what the next 3 years have in store for us.

Confession: I've Got The Wedding Blues

I've been debating whether or not to share this because I don't want it to get taken the wrong way. I know it sounds horrible. But it's a very odd feeling that has been settling in me in the last couple of weeks. It in now way means that I am any less thrilled about being engaged or marrying Joe. It's just an odd feeling that kind of snuck up in me.

It's not that I'm not excited about the wedding or getting married or Joe. I'm very happy and can't wait to marry him! But, as time has gone by and our engagement has gone from shiny and new, to nearly 4 months old, life has gotten busy and it's been getting me down. I haven't had as much time to look at magazines and flip through and add to my lovely wedding binder since school started. People don't ask about wedding plans as much or ask about the engagement. Suddenly engaged life has reached a stalemate of sorts. Maybe this happens to all brides. Maybe after a certain period of time life does go back to the norm and being engaged and planning a wedding stops being a central part of conversation and fades into just another aspect of your life.

I think this feeling may also be attributed to people that just can't let you be happy, or say things that make you second guess yourself. I've read that this happens to most brides. And I have talked to friends about how people always wanted to give them their two-cents leading up to their big day without thinking how it was making them feel. No matter what, it seems that almost every bride has at least a couple of people that just can't let them be happy and in bliss. I really don't think there's any more stabbing, nagging, annoying feeling than instead of someone telling you that they are happy that you're happy; they tell you you're too young, marriage is overrated, they would do this or that differently, etc... I feel like in being engaged Joe and I are both obviously very happy and comfortable with our decision to get married. I don't want to continuously feel like I want to avoid certain people because they can't keep their mouth closed. 

I in no way, shape, or form expect everyone and anyone to only want to talk about the wedding. I don't expect people to shout "OMG YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED" every time I walk into a room. I certainly don't expect everyone have my wedding be the biggest thing in their life. The thing is, I don't know what I expect, if anything. Maybe I'm just feeling this way because we're not making any major decisions yet. The waiting game gets a little old and boring. I want to be out looking at venues, talking to florists, trying on dresses! You can only cut out so many pictures and pin so many pins.

The best way I can even try to describe this feeling is in calling it an empty happiness. Which probably still makes about no sense at all. I am thrilled to be engaged to my truest best friend in life. I am so happy to get to experience being engaged and planning a wedding with Joseph, our families, and my dearest friends. This in-between stage is just getting me down. There's so much I want to get done, but it's not quite time to start doing it. I'm the kind of person that takes everything to heart, so I've also let the VERY few nay-sayers of marriage get to me.

I feel like I need a wedding pep talk, a wedding cheerleader to pep me up. Or maybe I just need to suck it up and get more excited about the anticipation of all of the impending wedding related decisions that are coming my way! So, I'm going to go stare at pictures of pretty dresses and handsome suits and beautiful weddings and turn my frown upside-down!

This and That

Disclaimer: This is entirely random and after re-reading the whole post a little scatter brained. But Since I already finished it, here you go.

• We found out that The Women's Club, one of the venues we checked out last month, is completely off the table effective in early 2013. The Chamber of Commerce building where it's located has been sold to the University of Saint Francis and will be turned into their business college. We've been smitten with this place for years and had put it down as a place we wanted to take our families to when it was time to do some real decision making. So, needless to say we're pretty bummed out. The funniest thing is that while I really liked it, I wasn't 100% positive it was the perfect spot for us. But as soon as Joe told me the news I almost went ballistic. Suddenly I felt like that was our only place and no other venues were going to work. It's weird how disappointing news really does seem a million times worse when you're a bride-to-be. (Something I was warned of but didn't really believe.) This really isn't a huge deal, it's one venue on our list of many and I'm sure we'll find the best place for us even though it was a place we really liked. But until then I'll probably continue to be hopelessly attached to the thought of our ceremony in the quaint, beautifully lit, impeccably white, ceremony hall. And our reception in the the historic, hard wood floored, window filled, beautiful view of downtown, banquet room. See, I'm still wallowing in the disappointment.

• I started asking my bridesmaids to, well, be my bridesmaids! I knew that I wanted to ask the girls in a really cute way and after doing some poking around Pinterest and some wedding blogs I finally decided on the perfect idea. I'm so excited about it I wish I could share it right now! But, I have only asked one out of five, so I'll hold off on spilling the beans. Before I asked the first girl I got surprisingly nervous. The only feeling I could compare it to was asking someone you have a crush on to hang out with you, which I know sounds really weird. But like, what if she said no and turned me down?! That would be awkward. But, lucky for me she said yes! Now I just have four more little gifts to put together and four more girls to ask. Then I'll have my side of the bridal party assembled and ready to tackle all of this wedding business with me!

• Next weekend I'm going to my first bridal show! I don't really know what to expect other than to be ready for wedding overload. There are actually two in Fort Wayne on the same day; one at the Grand Wayne Center and the other at the Coliseum. I haven't decided which one I want to go to yet, but both look like they have a lot of great vendors and things to look at. 

Other than all of that we're starting to look at different photographers. Even though there still seems like there is so much time before the big day, we would like to get our engagement pictures taken sometime between February and May. So it's time to kind of get the ball rolling. We are also probably going to make a few appointments to look at venues when I'm home for a few days for my fall break in October. Hopefully we can start narrowing our list down and will be ready to take people back to our favorites around my christmas break! 

But for now in completely non-wedding related activities Joseph and I are going to Cincinnati this weekend. We're going to stay overnight, explore the city, eat good food and go to a Reds game which was his birthday present from me. We're both really excited to get away even for just a couple of days. It's actually our first overnight trip somewhere alone, so it will be fun to finally have a little bit of an adult trip without having to check-in or be tagging along with family.

Also, I am really tired and ready for this week to be over, thus the long random post. I should probably just go to sleep now.