Things I Learned While Being Engaged

It's now a whole month after the wedding and I really can't believe how quickly everything went by, and how fast our first month of marriage has gone. You spend so much time planning the wedding. And within 24 hours (more like 14), it's all over and done with and you're married! Now that I'm no longer engaged and have had some time to think about the whole process, there are some things I wish I would have known before it all. Luckily, I now have two girls in my office getting ready for their own weddings and who have been coming to me for advice (kind of scary!) so they get to know about the things I wish I would have!

1. Your budget will go out the window (at some point, in some way).
   When we first sat down with my mom to talk budget we settled on a modest number we thought would be doable. However, there are SO MANY factors that go into your planning and budget that you don't even think of. Yes, you may have a price point in mind for your dress, but the alterations you need to get it perfectly tailored to you and looking great add more. That great venue that has all of the decorations on-hand? Yeah, those might not be actually included in your rental. You have to learn to roll with the punches. There are definitely ways we could have trimmed down, and did trim down our overall budget (a "smaller" guest list, closer honeymoon, choosing a more reasonable bakery), but the end dollar signs are a little more than we anticipated. I know this does not apply to everyone (and kudos to you if you stayed perfectly on, or even under, budget).
2. Everyone has their own ideas for your big day - just listen.
   I'm 3,000% sure that whenever anyone gets engaged they get a million suggestions from a million people about everything from the wedding date to your centerpieces. When we first got engaged I had no clue what I wanted and was happy to listen to everyone's input. After a few months and as we started planning I would get so annoyed when someone would trump my ideas or give crazy suggestions. As we got further into the process I learned to just smile and nod and take most things with a grain of salt. I'm pretty sure no one offering up their opinion on your big day has the intention to hurt you or make you mad, really everyone is genuinely excited for you, so just listening and keeping yourself from rolling your eyes is the key to keeping sane.
3. You can't make everyone happy - and you have to accept that.
   You will run into people who are not happy with your choices. This can be in everything from your chosen wedding date, to how much or little they are involved in everything. As much as you want the wedding and reception to just be about you and your husband to be, planning a wedding really does take an army whether you want it to or not. People will feel left out. People will feel overwhelmed. People will hate your ideas. BREATHE. Making someone happy will sometimes mean making someone else upset - even if that someone is you. COMPROMISE. In the last week or two before the wedding I had the epiphany that - hey this day is about Joe and I. As much as I wanted to make every single family member, wedding party attendant, vendor, etc... 150% happy, I couldn't. It's not possible. But, what did make me happy, and hopefully everyone else, was focusing on what it was about - and that's Joe and I getting married and starting our life together! If someone isn't happy about that, well then there's no helping them. 
4. Be oblivious on the day of the wedding - seriously.
   This might sound weird, but in absolutely, positively, no way, shape, or form let anyone ask you anything. We were lucky to have an amazing wedding day-of coordinator that, not only took all responsibility off of me, but also my family and the wedding party. She was the contact person on the wedding day for all of the vendors, and absolutely anyone that had questions, concerns, or anything else were told to go to her. It was nice after all of the stresses of wedding planning to be blissfully oblivious. So, I didn't know that the florist was rude to the church coordinator, that the last two tables at the reception didn't get macaroni and cheese or mashed potatoes because the caterer ran out, or any other miniscule issue that came up. I got ready with my best friends, walked down the aisle to my future husband, made memories with my family, and had an amazing reception with the people closest to us, no worries or unnecessary stress - and that's how it should be!
5. The day goes so much faster than you could ever imagine - try to stop every once and awhile to take it all in.I had heard from so many people that your wedding day goes by so fast, and even that didn't prepare for just how quickly the biggest day of your life unfolds! It all kind of feels like a blur to me. One minute my bridesmaids and I were getting our hair and make-up done, and the next we were on the way to the church. We thought we'd have so much time between arriving at the church to when the ceremony got started, but between getting everyone in their dresses, making final adjustments, and walking over it felt like 5 minutes. The ceremony flies by, mostly because you are so focused on A. not tripping in your dress, B. trying not to cry because everyone else is, C. wishing that the moment you are finally Mr. and Mrs.would get there so you can be married! And the reception is just something else. We had SO MUCH fun! But, you have all of the special firsts and dances that you have to do, and then so much mingling! I felt like I talked for hours and there were still people I never even got to say a peep to! 
6. With that said - take time to have alone time - even if it is just a moment or two!
   I was glad that there were a few minutes of alone time, both just myself and with Joe as well. I had a moment alone when the ceremony was starting where I was in a back corner (so no one would catch a glimpse before I went down the aisle) where I got to breathe and really think about what was about to happen. During the ceremony there was a moment where Joe and I had to go off alone, it was precisely 45 seconds, but that kind of let us breathe in the middle and say hi to each other! After the ceremony the wedding party went up into the church balcony. As everyone was going back downstairs to start pictures Joe and I hung back so we could hug and kiss and have a quiet moment together. Even though our wedding day went so fast, I remember those special times where we could just be alone for a second to breathe, regroup and get moving again.
   

I'm sure as time goes on I will think of more things, but those six things stick out the most. I'm obviously no expert, but being one of the first to get married out of my circle will hopefully let me help some of my engaged and someday engaged friends.