On Choosing My Bridesmaids

I am not someone that has "throw-away friends". Anyone that is in my life is in my life for a reason and because I care about them. Even though I may not have a big group of friends, I have been lucky enough to surround myself with a few really wonderful people. So, needless to say, when I started to decide what girls I wanted to be in my bridal party it took me awhile to decide how many bridesmaids I wanted, just what girls I would ask, and how to avoid potentially hurting feelings.

When Joe and I sat down and talked about the bridal party we decided that 5 bridesmaids and groomsmen would be the number for us. Then we tried to narrow down who of our friends would be a part of our big day. For Joe it was pretty quick and simple. He is pretty decisive when it comes to the people that matter the most to him. I on the other hand, had a little harder of a time deciding on my girls and my maid of honor. If I could have my way I would just have all of my girlfriends be in my wedding and we would all live happily ever after, but in reality I had to make some decisions.

I think that a lot of the reason that I had such a hard time with narrowing it down is that I hate hurting people's feelings, making people feel left out, having people upset with me, and so on. To be honest, I love all of my friends and feel like each and every one of them could and should be a bridesmaid. Different ones have been there for me at different stages in my life when I needed them the most. Some of us may not talk all the time, be at the same places in our lives, or like all of the same things, but, at least on my end, I still feel so much love for them. In the end I ended up with girls I have known for over a decade and girls I have just gotten close to in the last year or two. It's a nice mix and people that I love with all my heart and then some.

When I made my final decision on my fab-5 I felt both relief and a whole new wave of anxiety. I had finally made a decision (something that if you know me, does not come easily). But, I was also going to 1. have to ask people and 2. potentially make some people upset. I'm actually the most anxious about my maid of honor pick. Not about the person, but the other girls feelings. While I feel like everyone could have been in the bridal party, I also feel that any of my 5 bridesmaids could really be my maid of honor!

I don't think I was made to make decisions like this. I get anxious just deciding which restaurant to go to! But, I know that the girls I'm asking to be in my wedding are going to make my day and the whole wedding process so special. And as for my other wonderful friends who I was not able to put in the wedding party, I hope that they know how special they are to me and how excited I am for them to share in my wedding day when it rolls around! I also want them all to feel included and am so glad that so many of them don't roll their eyes at me when I bring up wedding stuff!

I still have 3 girls left to ask, thus why I am keeping mum on their identities (so secretive, right?!). That's the problem you face when you don't currently live in the same city, or even state, as some of them! The process has also taken longer because I decided that I wanted to ask each girl in person and in a "cute" way. Hopefully everyone will be "officially" asked within the next couple of weeks and then I can share who they are! Which, really, may be some of the worst kept secrets around.