Confession: I've Got The Wedding Blues

I've been debating whether or not to share this because I don't want it to get taken the wrong way. I know it sounds horrible. But it's a very odd feeling that has been settling in me in the last couple of weeks. It in now way means that I am any less thrilled about being engaged or marrying Joe. It's just an odd feeling that kind of snuck up in me.

It's not that I'm not excited about the wedding or getting married or Joe. I'm very happy and can't wait to marry him! But, as time has gone by and our engagement has gone from shiny and new, to nearly 4 months old, life has gotten busy and it's been getting me down. I haven't had as much time to look at magazines and flip through and add to my lovely wedding binder since school started. People don't ask about wedding plans as much or ask about the engagement. Suddenly engaged life has reached a stalemate of sorts. Maybe this happens to all brides. Maybe after a certain period of time life does go back to the norm and being engaged and planning a wedding stops being a central part of conversation and fades into just another aspect of your life.

I think this feeling may also be attributed to people that just can't let you be happy, or say things that make you second guess yourself. I've read that this happens to most brides. And I have talked to friends about how people always wanted to give them their two-cents leading up to their big day without thinking how it was making them feel. No matter what, it seems that almost every bride has at least a couple of people that just can't let them be happy and in bliss. I really don't think there's any more stabbing, nagging, annoying feeling than instead of someone telling you that they are happy that you're happy; they tell you you're too young, marriage is overrated, they would do this or that differently, etc... I feel like in being engaged Joe and I are both obviously very happy and comfortable with our decision to get married. I don't want to continuously feel like I want to avoid certain people because they can't keep their mouth closed. 

I in no way, shape, or form expect everyone and anyone to only want to talk about the wedding. I don't expect people to shout "OMG YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED" every time I walk into a room. I certainly don't expect everyone have my wedding be the biggest thing in their life. The thing is, I don't know what I expect, if anything. Maybe I'm just feeling this way because we're not making any major decisions yet. The waiting game gets a little old and boring. I want to be out looking at venues, talking to florists, trying on dresses! You can only cut out so many pictures and pin so many pins.

The best way I can even try to describe this feeling is in calling it an empty happiness. Which probably still makes about no sense at all. I am thrilled to be engaged to my truest best friend in life. I am so happy to get to experience being engaged and planning a wedding with Joseph, our families, and my dearest friends. This in-between stage is just getting me down. There's so much I want to get done, but it's not quite time to start doing it. I'm the kind of person that takes everything to heart, so I've also let the VERY few nay-sayers of marriage get to me.

I feel like I need a wedding pep talk, a wedding cheerleader to pep me up. Or maybe I just need to suck it up and get more excited about the anticipation of all of the impending wedding related decisions that are coming my way! So, I'm going to go stare at pictures of pretty dresses and handsome suits and beautiful weddings and turn my frown upside-down!