Sunday, October 18, 2015

I Don't Know About You, but I'm Feeling...26

I turned 26 the other day and it feels...weird. It really doesn't seem like it was that long ago that I was going to my friend's high school graduation parties, or studying my life away in the library in college, or moving in with Joe for the first time before we got married. But, here I am, 26 years old.

I know that 26 really isn't a very significant birthday in the grand scheme of things (16, 21, 30, 40, etc... are much more thrilling), but it feels significant to me. This is the first time I feel like a real adult. I'm married. I've been in the working world for over 2 year. I have a job, a career even! Joe and I are talking about house hunting and adding babies to our little family, and it just doesn't seem like it's possible that I'm at this point in my life. It's refreshing. I spent so many years in school, making friends and breaking friends, dating around, making mistakes and being irresponsible. And here, here I am, 26 years old feeling like I have some part of my life somewhat figured out and it's equal parts shocking and amazing. I  know I'll never have it all figured out, and that given the fact that my brain loves to constantly be thinking, I'll never feel totally satisfied, but right now I feel more at ease with life than I have before.

I read this article from HelloGiggles about all the feels that turning 26 can bring (I love think pieces and personal essays fyi), and like many articles, while I don't 100% relate to every single word, it did completely resonate with me and my own feelings. These two snippets stuck out the most to me:

"That’s kind of just how growing up works. Some friendships strengthen, others fade away. Sometimes you experience shifts, changes, or epiphanies in your political opinions, religion, or worldview, and that makes it hard for some friends or family members to relate to you. You may be the same person at your core, but wearing different clothing or changing hobbies can make a perceptible shift in your social sphere."

"I can’t be all things to all people, and that’s ok. I can respect people whether or not we’re friends, and I shouldn’t let it completely break my spirit when I’m passed over for an interview, or a friendship starts to fade into oblivion. Sometimes endings can make room for beautiful new beginnings."

 I struggle so much with holding on to the past, and being afraid of change (my own and others), that it can make it hard to not constantly be worried about how other people are seeing me. But now I feel like I'm coming to an age where I can embrace the changes, the beginnings, and the ending and still stay true to myself. I feel like I'm ready to take that leap and BE CONTENT with myself and my life.

As I look ahead to what 26 might look like for me, I hope that it's a year filled with self discovery and self improvement. I'd love to settle into my and Joe's first house, and maybe even add a baby Katie or baby Joe to the mix along the way. But I suppose the best thing about birthday's is that they usher in a new year of the unexpected, and for once I can't wait for that. Here's to 26 and what it may bring!

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