To Get Married In A Church, Or Not

First of all, I know for some people this kind of thing can be a touchy subject. But, as with everything so far, I'm really trying to share my whole thought and planning process, so sharing this is also important to me as with everything else. I am not very religious. This is not to say that I don't have my own beliefs, or that I am completely anti-religion, I'm just not 100% positive where I lie on the subject. I have long history with trying to find myself in this aspect and with exploring different religions, practices, beliefs, etc... I just haven't quite yet figured out exactly what I do and do not believe and what exactly I feel my faith is. So, one of the biggest things I have been struggling with since day one has been whether or not to have a church and/or religious wedding.

I grew up Catholic. My grandma attended Catholic schools her whole life and my grandparents were married at Most Precious Blood Catholic Church, the church that my grandma grew up in. My parents were married in the Cathedral in downtown Fort Wayne. I was both baptized and had my first communion through the Catholic church and up until I was in middle school, I attended Sunday school and church services regularly. Then we stopped going. I would go to church with my dad occasionally, not Catholic church, but I still had some religion in my life. I would tag a long with my grandma when she would take my great-grandma to Saturday evening mass, but my days as a regular church attendee were over. As I reached high school I began to really question a lot of what I knew about religion and throughout the years I have struggled with what I do and do not believe. I have had spurts where I'll start to really try to commit to something, but I get scared and let my thoughts and uncertainty take over.

When Joseph and I began discussing ceremony locations, who would officiate, etc... we kind of hit a wall. I was not opposed to the idea of getting married in a church, even initially, I just did not feel the connection that I felt should be necessary to make a church wedding meaningful. Joe on the other hand very much wanted a church wedding right off the bat. Even with this difference in opinion Joe let me know that he wanted it to be my decision and what I am comfortable with. I took his words and really sat on them. I have spent the last 7 months going back and forth in my head about what the right choice for us is. I've really done a ton of thinking, because the main event of the wedding IS THE CEREMONY! That's why everyone is there; to see you tie the knot! So, I've really been having a little internal battle over whether I would like to have our ceremony in a church or in a neutral location with a justice of the peace, professional officiant, or someone who is close to us conducting the ceremony. I took a lot into consideration including, both of our beliefs, our families wishes, how comfortable we would be in each scenario, our budget, etc... I also looked around at what other brides in the area have done and tried to look around for some pros and cons kind of things for each option.

I am still going back and forth with this decision. It's definitely not something I am taking lightly. In my mind, this is one of the most important decisions in this whole wedding process. It is so important for me to have the ceremony that best represents us, our beliefs, our families, and makes us feel most at ease. I really wish it was an easier choice for me and that I didn't feel so conflicted. It really is the most personal decision of all, and something that I want Joe and myself to both be beyond comfortable and happy with. I know that no matter what we end up deciding, our ceremony will be special, it's just reaching the decision that might take a little more time.